My older stepbrother abused me in the past, but because I didn't say anything it wasn't an issue. My dad wants me to forgive him. Here's the thing. I both feel the need to forgive him because I know my dad was lonely without my stepmom. But shouldn't I feel angrier? I know he was abusive but maybe it's because he's nicer now it's ok? He moved out so we don't interact. Was it really abuse if I'm not angry anymore? I feel very confused. He never apologized once, and it hasn't been brought up ever.－金針銀耳的部落格 Movieholic

Nov 10 Thu 2016 18:46
My older stepbrother abused me in the past, but because I didn't say anything it wasn't an issue. My dad wants me to forgive him. Here's the thing. I both feel the need to forgive him because I know my dad was lonely without my stepmom. But shouldn't I feel angrier? I know he was abusive but maybe it's because he's nicer now it's ok? He moved out so we don't interact. Was it really abuse if I'm not angry anymore? I feel very confused. He never apologized once, and it hasn't been brought up ever.

Forgiving
the abuse doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Your experiences are legitimate and
the way you currently feel about it is also just as real. There is no ‘correct’
way to feel, and if the events of the abuse no longer affect you, then you’ve
reached a state of closure. However if you feel like the issue is unresolved
and if you are in a stable place in your life, you could consider reaching out
to him and having an open conversation about the past. However, if you choose
to do so, make sure you go in knowing what you want from the conversation, and
that you’re mentally healthy enough to handle it. Have a support group of
friends and family. Talk about it with them also - it may help you process your
thoughts and feelings